The Joy of Sex After 50
I remember a talking to a friend about her parents. She recalls being a teenager and just being grossed out by her parents kissing each other in the kitchen. Or being mortified because her father would pat her mother’s butt as he walked behind her. As an adult, she said she can now look back at that fondly because of the love they shared; role modeling a healthy romantic relationship. The truth of the matter is society tells us that for the older generations, affection and sex is no longer an option. It’s not attractive, it’s physically impossible or the desire is just no longer there. These are all myths!
The truth of the matter is sex after 50 can actually be a wonderful thing. A survey distributed by the National Council on Aging gave some very positive results. 74 percent of men and 70 percent of women over the age of 60 reported having better sex lives now than they did in their 40’s. Another contributing factor to this statistic is those over the age of 50. This over 50 group reported that the quality of their relationship was a direct correlation to that of their sexual satisfaction.
Still not convinced? Here’s some fascinating ideas to think about when questioning the joy of sex after 50:
The Mind is a Powerful Thing
Many people have heard the expression, “The mind is the sexiest organ of the body”. Here is where we have stored our memories, created deep connections, and had experiences that allow for adventurous ways to show our significant others our love. Many couples over the age of 50 feel a level of trust and less inhibitions with one another. This allows for less modesty and more freedom to be themselves in the bedroom. Of course for any age, stress, past traumatic events, negative self – image or relationship issues can cause less of a sexual desire. However, the mind is in control. So communicating this with your partner is key to understanding your current emotional state.
Is it Physically Possible?
Yes! There is no secret that as we age, things begin to slow down. However, that does not mean that you are unable to perform. The slower things go also allows for more closeness, longer foreplay and creative ways of lovemaking. If there is a physical issue with sexual activity, a doctor can assist with medication or other viable options.
Old isn’t Beautiful
On the contrary, many couples state after years of being together they find their spouses to be more attractive than the day they were married. There is wisdom, experience, love and beauty in the eyes of someone in which you’ve endured life. The idea of trust and bond can be very sexually appealing. Maybe there’s a way your spouse smiles, a certain facial expression or maybe even a way they walk that highlights this exact beauty. So what if you haven’t been in a relationship for 20 years? There is some definite tension or anticipation about what sex can be like. Communicating this to your partner and expressing these fears can bring about that vulnerability and closeness you may be hoping for.
It’s All About the Relationship
Maybe you’ve caught on to the underlying theme. Sex is often all about your relationship! Especially later in life. Over 50% of couples over the age of 50 state that what is sexy to them is the commitment, trust and love they share with their spouse. Communication, emotional connection and the ability to have fun all contribute to the joy of sex after 50. If you can be vulnerable and comfortable with your partner, sex will continue to be a fun intimate act that you can continue to share throughout the years!
If you and your partner struggle with the issues mentioned above, don’t live a sexless, unhappy life. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help! Try talking to your partner about sex in an intimate and vulnerable way if that is safe for the two of you. If it seems to be more of a physiological issue, reach out to your doctor. There are many ways they can help.