A beautiful new home, a new opportunity across the country, a bigger apartment, or starting out on your own for the first time can all be exciting adventures. However, moving can be one of the toughest times in any couple’s life.
The strain on a marriage during the moving process ranks high on the list of reasons people split up. Financial stress, personal transitions, lack of communication and uncertainty in your day to day life can be incredibly hard on a marriage. By following the tips below, you will learn that moving can be a positive experience.
Moving can be a positive experience if you plan
Be diligent in making a workable plan and timeline for your move. You should make sure that you have ample help from either friends or a moving company. Be very specific about who is doing what part of the move. Discuss the plan with your partner or better yet, create a plan of action together. If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail. Some things to consider:
- When to turn on, shut off utilities at each home.
- Finances for the move.
- Child care.
- Pet care.
- Build in time for rest stops.
- When, where, what are you eating?
- Do you need a hotel or place to stay between spots?
Communicate, communicate, communicate!
Just as communication is vital for a healthy relationship, keeping your communication strong will help make sure your move is a positive experience. Here are some things to practice:
- Check in daily: at least more often with your partner. Make sure you are creating some time to share your needs and emotional experience with your spouse.
- Use very direct, specific communication: Your spouse isn’t a mindreader. Making assumptions can lead down a tough path of misunderstanding. So, be clear with your communication, listen for understanding and ask for clarification, if needed.
- Ask for what you need and meet the needs of your partner: Be very clear here as well. If you need comfort, encouragement, a hug, a nap, or a snack ask for it. Your partner cannot fill a need that they are not aware of.
- Manage expectations: Perhaps you prefer to get everything unpacked right away, but you partner likes to take their time. Not being able to manage your expectations can lead to disappointment. Check-in with your spouse to make sure you are staying on the same page.
Manage your own stress.
A move is stressful but it can be a positive experience if you can manage your own stress level. I like the “K.I.S.S.” method- Keep it simple, Silly! Make sure to take care of the basics. Focus on sleeping well, eating healthy meals and snacks, taking your time to meditate, breathe, or practice your favorite coping skills.
Make your new home comfortable.
Transitions, no matter how small are a really big deal. As soon as possible, begin to make your new place “home”. One way to do this is to have each member of your household pack a box with items that feel like home to them. Open this box first at the new house. Here are some possible items to include: Your favorite picture, a familiar scented candle, a cozy blanket, or stuffed animal. These things can immediately promote a sense of calming familiarity that will put your mind at rest and know that moving can be a positive experience.
Get into a routine.
As you make the move, keep up with routines as much as possible. This is especially helpful with meal times and bedtimes. We are creatures of habit and as tempting as it may be to stay up later to get more things unpacked, it may be more helpful to your mental health and wellness to stick to your normal routine. This also assists in making that transition a bit more seamless.
Moving is an exciting adventure and at the same time a stressful undertaking. However, by using some good strategies, moving can be a positive experience. For more information on navigating transitions, communication or managing stress you can read these blog by visiting our website. If you find that you are having a hard time navigating a move or if the strain has become too much for your relationship, we would love to help guide you to have the relationship you deserve. Give us a call or go online to schedule an appointment today!