The Truth About Weight, Intimacy and Sex

Most people experience some hit to their sex life at some point or another. Sometimes we are affected by external factors like work, money, or family. Other times, our sexual experiences may suffer because of our internal struggles. This may be because of stress, anxiety, or low self-esteem. Is our weight tied to the level of intimacy or the amount of sex that we enjoy? Many overweight people enjoy a healthy and enjoyable sex life. So, how does your weight affect your sex life?

Loss of Libido

Research has shown that it is not necessarily our weight that affects our sex life. However, people who are trying to lose weight are more dissatisfied with their sexual life, especially women. A reason for this is that instead of concentrating on the moment with their partner and connecting, they are worried about other things. They may worry about what their bodies look like, what their partner is thinking about their body, and what their partner is going to say. This is one reason people can lose interest in sex and intimacy with their partners.

The truth about weight, intimacy, and sex is that intimacy isn’t just a physical act. Real intimacy – emotional and physical closeness – stems from trust and security in the relationship. Try staying in the moment with your partner while being intimate. If your mind starts to wander, remind yourself you are loved just as you are. You can work on your “flaws” later if you choose; now is not the time to worry about them.

Self-esteem

Most of us have, at some point, felt self-conscious about our bodies. This is normal, and it’s okay to have “off” days where you don’t feel your best. In a safe and trusting relationship, you shouldn’t always have to be your best. Sex and intimacy in relationships can be affected by a lack of self-worth or self-esteem. Low self-esteem and self-worth may stem from not feeling attractive enough, being distrustful of others, and your experiences with trauma and abuse.

If you are having an “off” day or are not feeling your best, ask yourself what you have control over. You may be able to change some things about yourself, but others you cannot. Learning to have self-acceptance is key. Make a list of 3 things you like about yourself and repeat them when you are feeling down. Ultimately, self-esteem is about you, but from time to time, it’s okay to ask your partner for reassurance if you need a little boost.

Tiredness

Weight gain can cause you to feel tired often, and this means that you might not feel up for sex when your partner does. The truth about weight, sex, and intimacy is that the tiredness that weight gain brings can ruin your relationship. Most people who are struggling with their weight feel tired all the time and can see sex as a chore or something they must power through.

What does all this mean for your relationship?

The truth about weight, intimacy, and sex is that your weight can get in the way of sex with your partner. However, the way you feel about yourself and your weight matters more when it comes to a satisfying sex life. Make the relationship with your partner a priority, instead of the quest to lose weight. Nourish your connection every day by showing your appreciation of your partner and showing interest in the things that matter to him or her. Spending quality time together and doing fun, exciting things can help you feel connected. Letting your partner know about your struggles with self-esteem or weight can be beneficial for your connection, too. Let them in and allow them to offer support or encouragement.

What are some ways you’ve kept your sex life satisfying when you’ve felt distracted by worries or self-esteem?