Have you ever contemplated why you’re still with him? I know I have! Sometimes we fall in a wrong relationship for all the wrong reasons. Looking back, I recall a particular relationship with obvious red flags that should have ended. What, then, caused me to hesitate for so long before taking action?
Relationship expert, Patrick Wanis, says, “We all need a sense of security as it is one of our key emotional needs”. However, if you’re staying in a relationship primarily due to significant red flags or for reasons like status, financial security, or sex, you’re likely in the relationship for the wrong reasons.
Ending a wrong relationship is a painful process no matter what. People often hesitate to take decisive action for many reasons, especially when it involves potentially hurting someone they once cared about—or still do. Nevertheless, delaying the end of a relationship to spare someone’s feelings will only end up causing greater pain. If you recognize any of these signs it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. Let’s look at the top signs you may be in a relationship for the wrong reasons.
6 Signs You’re In A Wrong Relationship For The Wrong Reasons
Stability and Security
These are two natural human desires. You might fear losing these things if you lose your partner. We often become comfortable with a current life situation, even if that means a dysfunctional relationship. Initiating certain change can be scary and it’s easy to focus on what we might lose. Is it worth sticking with someone for the sake of this security? Tempted to give into the fear of being alone? I empathize; it can be hard when waiting for the right one, but it’s not worth compromising your standards and values. If you’re having to do this, you’re NOT with the right person.
Sex
A great component of a healthy relationship, but it should not be the sole focus of your partnership. If it is, there’s a problem. Sex should stem from emotional and relational connectedness to your partner. If you’re concerned this might be an issue in your relationship, I recommend reading The Intimacy Struggle by Janet Woititz.
History together
In a long-term relationship, you may feel like the next natural step should be marriage. Pressure to take the plunge into holy matrimony may be a genuine concern, but remember that this is YOUR relationship, something to take ownership of. Boasting status of high school sweethearts is not a good enough reason to make a life-long commitment. Take time to consider, seek wise counsel, and have meaningful, intentional conversation with your partner.
Family or Friends
Who are you in this relationship for? Mutual relationships with your significant other may be important to both of you. Just because close family and friends are involved or have a direct impact on your relationship doesn’t necessarily mean he’s ‘the one.’ His family may be all you ever dreamed of, but when doubts are consistent about the man himself, reconsider. If you do sense this to be a major reason why you remain committed, take some time to do some self-evaluation. You might discover this to be a sign your in a relationship for the wrong reasons.
Futuristic Thinking
Is the relationship S Of course daydreams of children and owning a home and career success are a normal part of any relationship. However, do your conversations revolve around these future plans? Is the current state of your relationship dependent on what might happen in the future? A hope for change in the future rarely allows for joy and satisfaction in the present. Maybe it’s time to reflect and make the necessary changes.
Health and safety
Domestic violence and physical and emotional abuse are real. If this is in your relationship it is time to take action. According to the experts, 1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the United States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. If you suspect you might be a victim, you are not alone. Seek help today and achieve healthy change!
There is no question that relationships can be challenging. When you stay for all the wrong reasons, a relationship can wreak havoc and bring turmoil to your life. On the other hand, you have the power to achieve great joy and find deep value in your special someone. If you want this for yourself, check out the book, Love Sense, or book an appointment with a relationship expert today.
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