Your Relationship is Affected by Your Perspective

When couples conflict, there are usually three sides to each story:  HER side, as she sees it is true to her. HIS side, as he sees it, is true to him.  The actual truth is often somewhere in the middle. Relationship research confirms that couples who are willing to consider their partner’s perspectives have more successful relationships.

Here are some examples:

Hold up your hand.  Describe the back of your hand as you see it.  Now have your partner describe the other side – the palm of your hand.  Same hand, different descriptions. Same object, different perspectives.

SHIP:  Is ship an object (boat) or something you do (mail a package)?

SUBWAY:  Is Subway a restaurant where you buy a sandwich, or a train to get to your destination?

Each of these answers is correct, depending on your perspective.  Our perspective comes from our personality, our background, and our past experiences. No one has a perfect perspective on everything.  This is true in relationships.  We often think our way is the only correct perspective.  We are naturally self-centered and believe our thoughts are the only ones that matter.  The truth is that we each have a limited perspective.  Our partner or spouse may have more or different information that can give a more complete picture of the situation.

Emotional maturity is needed for each spouse to be willing to hear the other’s perspective.  Be willing to accept that your way may not be the only correct way. When individuals are only willing to accept their perspective, gridlock can happen.  Learning to listen and to hear what your spouse is saying takes time, patience, and practice. Being willing to admit that you don’t have all of the answers all of the time can be a big step in your relationship.  Humility and grace go a long way in developing a relationship.  

Ways to work on seeing a new/different perspective: 

To engage in constant conflict or for one partner to always acquiesce is not healthy for any relationship. Admit you have different perspectives and be willing to consider the value of each perspective. Creating healthy relationships requires a willingness to hear your partner’s side and consider their merits.

Ship or ship.
Subway or subway.

Can you think of other words that carry dual meanings?
The answer is in the perspective!