Top Signs That You’re Drifting Apart, and What To Do About It.

You don’t talk like you used to. Sex has become obsolete. It’s hard to remember the last in-depth conversation or episode of shared laughter you had. You feel disconnected and distant. Times have changed, and so has your relationship. If this sounds like you, it’s time to evaluate and take action to recognize the signals of relational drifting and learn how to stop it!

Even the most solidified romantic relationships can experience a certain stagnancy or feelings of drifting apart. Years of observing my own parents’ long-time commitment to one another unveiled a fair share of bumps and difficulties. At some points, they did note feelings of drifting apart as our family grew and changed. Maybe you can relate to something similar in your present relationship. While this isn’t a death sentence, it is certainly an opportunity to take a serious look at your relationship’s current status and create an action plan for necessary change to close the gap between you and your partner. Let’s explore the signs of relational drifting and how to craft a plan of action.

Signal #1: You’re stuck in the routine

Being stuck in a routine can leave you feeling monotonous and bored in your relationship. Therefore, losing a sense of joy and purpose as a significant other, and focusing on the daily grind.

What to do: Stir up some excitement that you both enjoy. Break free of the routine and take a spontaneous outing together. Plan a vacation that can serve as a light at the end of the tunnel for both of you after a strenuous month of working. Have something set in the calendar that you both look forward to and talk about frequently as you build the anticipation.

Signal #2: You’ve lost touch with your friend

As the relationship wears on, this signal shows that you’ve forgotten some of the things that you love most about your significant other. More so, you’re now scratching your head about what brought you together in the first place.

What to do: Get back to the basics! 10 years of experience together doesn’t dismiss the power of reliving your early relationship days. Share memories of when you first met, started dating, discussed hopes for the future, or walked through a trial together. Rekindle the friendship you built. Do you remember your partner’s favorite color? Movie? Worse nightmare? Greatest success? This tool can help guide the conversation. It is a wonderful relationship app that helps you explore the needs and wants of your significant other. Along with that, it challenges you with questions to ask, things to do, and ways to communicate!

Signal #3: You don’t feel the love

Let’s face the facts: You may not feel like loving, or even liking, your partner right now. Gone are the heart-pounding, palm-sweating interactions you once had with this person you are now committed to forever.

What to do: When you don’t feel like loving him, do it anyway! It’s difficult, but not impossible. Don’t underestimate the power that random acts of kindness have in a suffering relationship. Go out of your way to show you care and are actively inserting love into daily life. Research indicates that exhibiting kindness, even when we don’t feel it, improves our well-being.

Recognizing the signals of relational drifting doesn’t mean your relationship is a lost cause. Gaining insight and awareness into current relationship struggles will only allow room for growth and improvement. Relationship expert, Dr. Sue Johnson, offers several great resources on the subject, including her book “Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships.” And, as always, we are here at Family Therapy Associates of Jacksonville to help promote positive relationship change. Make an appointment today!

What are your suggestions for overcoming relational distance and achieving reconnection?